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The Loser Pet Store

A guy friend, who shares his dating escapades with me, went on a first date with a great girl. He met her on -- ahem -- Yahoo Personals. (Do we still have to whisper online dating ventures?) Probably not since almost everyone I know has either tried it or considered signing up for Match or eHarmony, or considered dating someone they met on MySpace. Anyway, "this girl is chill," as one artsy friend of mine would describe. From afar, she embodies most of the qualities he's looking for.

But wait... Something went erroneous for my friend.

My guy friend IMs me:

"O-M-G, Brie, so on the second date with this incredibly beautiful girl I confirmed that she has a slight stutter. I'd like to think I'm mature enough to handle it, but here I am writing you about it."

My response:

"I will be honest and say I couldn't handle it, but then again, I don't claim to be mature at all"

I've since come to an observation about Web-mating:
online dating = loser pet store

Yeah, yeah, I, too, am an online dater now. But hey, I never said I was not a loser. If anything, it's easier for me to spot 'em. I've been there, done that, and I'll be the first to support dating via cyberspace. And I'll also be the first to say, it's as slim pickings on the Web as it is certain locales in America -- so there's not a huge difference there.

I conclude, dating online is like going to the demented zoo -- the horses are too short, the owl has an eye patch, and the lion can't growl. If you're still reading, you must have also come to the conclusion that I'm a horrible human. But I call it as I see it, and I'm not even alone on the matter. I've talked to a handful of online daters who have surmised there are only 10 percent online who are actually datable. Of course, there are no scientific experiments or significant surveys to prove or disprove this number, so please take this information with a grain of salt. I dare you to weigh in... Join an online dating site (if you're single, that is) and let me know what you think.

Like I said, I'm an online dater now. I have a strong suspicion that at the end of the day, those demented zoo animals can be pretty damn cool. You'll seldom find creatures like those around. Some will make you laugh, some will teach you a lesson, and some may just surprise you.

Upon telling my guy friend about my "loser pet store" theory, he responds, "I like to think of it as the 'land of misfit toys.' It's more endearing."

What to watch out for when dating online

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Judging a Book by Its Cover

Some say you should never judge a book by its cover. I beg to differ. When it comes to online dating, you have to judge a book by its cover. After all, you don't want to end up spending a long date with a total dud. When you're on Match.com, eHarmony.com, Yahoo Personals, it's easy to size a guy up by what he says in his profile, his available pictures and what he says if he e-mails you. Don't know what the warning signs are? Read on for what to watch out for when online dating:

His Pictures

Some red flags come to mind if the guy in question only posts one or two pictures. And if those images are segmented -- like you only see his head and neck, for instance -- something is up. In this day and age, everyone should have a viable digital camera. There are no excuses for not posting full body shots (or at the very least, the upper body). If he's not showing you all of him, he may be hiding something or at least insecure about his frame.

The Timeline

Okay, so there are four or five great pictures of him on his profile. You think, score! Not quite, ladies. Imagine that these four or five "great" pictures were taken of him 10 years ago when he was at his college prime. Now, he could be a victim of male pattern baldness, have gained 100 pounds and has aged more than you know. This is not to say you judge everyone's pictures as such. But before you meet a guy, politely ask him when his photos were taken.

"Hey, Beautiful"

If those words weren't a red flag to you before, listen up. Yes, it's flattery at its best. But if a man who barely knows you just said that, consider that he may be saying it to other girls. In my experience, men who are quick to call you a pet name, is so comfortable with doing that because he, in fact, does it all the time. His "hey, beautiful" habits may be shared with plenty of other women. Do you want a guy who is spreading the love like that? Probably not.

Quick to Date

Some guys are clearly screening for a wife on some of these dating sites. Okay, that's fine, but it's important for you not to get swept up in that. Instead, take your time and find someone who's absolutely perfect for you. I don't care if you're in a rush, too. It's better to be safe than sorry. Before you go out with a guy, employ your own screening process -- ask him questions that are important to you, figure out what he's looking for, and realize that he's a "good egg." There are a lot of bad ones out there, but if you don't e-mail back and forth, chat online or talk on the phone beforehand, you may just end up being disappointed date after date. Choose wisely, ladies!

Happy hunting!

Online dating dos and don'ts

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Find Mr Right right online

Ready to join the estimated 40 million Americans who are giving the online match game a whirl? If so, you'll need to give your profile some pop to stand out from the pack. More important, you'll have a real shot at finding a click-worthy guy you really, well, click with.

Get started with these dating profile dos and don'ts:

... go into online dating cold. Before you start entering your sassy stats, do a search as if you were looking for "you" and see what comes up. Read other gals' profiles to see your competition, get some clever ideas, and take note of the things that scream turnoff.

... make your user name unique. "It doesn't have to be brilliant, but it should signify some expressive detail about what makes you you," suggests Gail Laguna, online dating expert and spokesperson for Spark Networks, which operates several niche online dating sites. Some of her examples: TennisTime, Luv2cook, SalsaDancer. Much more intriguing than Sexylady123, isn't is?

... go overboard with the seductive picture poses or bawdy talk. Overly suggestive pics or innuendo may attract the wrong type of person, warns Stephany Alexander author of the book "Sex, Lies & the Internet: An Online Dating Survival Guide." Remember, there's a fine line between flirty and trashy -- don't cross it.

... be positive. "There are few of us who enter the dating scene who don't have some emotional baggage," says Nancy Michaels, founder of MatchGoneWrong.com, a dating site for women over 40. Still, she says, try not to emphasize phrases such as "no games" or "no drama." Instead, specify what you are looking for, such as "a great guy who shares my love of jazz music."

be intimidating. Often Mr Right just needs a little nudge in the right direction to get the courage to contact you, says Laguna. Be sure to include an invitation to contact you in your profile to come off as approachable and warm.

How to find love online

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Cyber-Flirting

It's no longer uncommon to find love online. In fact, lots of singles make it a point to reserve nights at home in order to search, browse and message potential suitors and future spouses. Although their online hunt may lead to squat - or worse, heartache - they still try.

If you're mulling it over yourself, I say, go for it. You've got nothing to lose. And that old stigma (that online dating is for losers) is no longer the case. But if you're going to do it, do it right.

With so many singles on a quest to make a computer connection, there are a few rules to keep in mind. I don't want you to be that dyslexic online dater without a clue, now. Do you? So I asked Dan Abelon, co-founder and love expert for www.speeddate.com, the world's first online speed dating application, for his online-socializing tips to ensure your inbox stays full of online admirers, and quality ones at that.

Follow Abelon's rules here:

Rule #1
Avoid the "Fauxtograph:" Known as the dreaded "fauxtograph," posting an outdated or altered image only delays the inevitable truth. Choose an image that not only shows your face but portrays your personality as well.

Rule #2
Go with Your Gut: Chemistry is key in online dating. Don't waste time going back and forth with someone that you're not connecting with. SpeedDate.com offers 3-minute speed dates, with the option to opt out of a dull date gracefully at any time. If you're not feeling it, move on!

Rule #3
Show your Stuff: Skip the lengthy questionnaires typical to most online dating sites. Post interesting facts about yourself that will allow potential suitors with similar interests to learn more about you, without being bored to death by hum-drum details. SpeedDate.com allows users to cut to the chase with profile pages that take approximately five minutes to fill out and showcase users music, TV shows, movies and book favorites. Additionally, the Web site provides a section for singles to highlight fun information about themselves that they would like to share with other members.

Rule #4
Get Creative: Sure, you could just attach a string of meaningless numbers to your real name, but why not create a screen name that captures your personality? Some SpeedDate.com user names include FreshAndFrench, SalsaLover66 and SurferGuy.

Rule #5
Play the Numbers Game: Host to more than 120,000 dates per day, SpeedDate.com puts thousands of singles at your fingertips in no time. Who says third time's the charm? The more dates you go on, the more you increase your chances of meeting Mr./Miss Right.

Rule #6
Start a Spark: The cyber flirt is all about witty conversation. Asking your potential love interest fun and unique questions lets him know that you want to get to know him/her. Can't think of anything? SpeedDate.com's "ice breakers" offer conversation starter questions to get the ball rolling such as "If you were a superhero, what super-power would you want to have?"